This column is a tribute to my father, Capt. R. Leonard Volk USN (Retired) 1924-2009

Things I learned from my dad  

We all take lessons from the people close to us and use them in our everyday lives. Some of the things I list here I use in all aspects of life including my teaching. My dad was an awesome role model and accomplished many great things all the while staying grounded in what was important in life. These are in no particular order but reflections of my life with my dad.

• When you talk, do it honestly and from the heart. That is the context of this column.
• You can always do better! This was a hard lesson to grow up with but it made me keep growing.
• How to do mental math
• When you give speeches or presentations- Keep your comments on target, talk from a basic outline, and discuss only what you know.
• Hold open you mothers car door. This expands to being polite and respectful of others.
• Forgive and Forget- If you truly forgive it never comes up again in anger!
• How to play Cribbage, Acey-Duecy, and Backgammon.
• Do not hit! Fighting and violence is a last resort and never hit a woman.
• Pick a team and support them no matter what happens.
• Believe in a force greater than man whatever form it takes.
• Honor your mother- I don’t know a time he did not defend our mom.
• It is OK to help with the dishes. My dad could be found in the kitchen on more holidays cleaning up after the cooking messes I (and others) often created while cooking.
• He tried to teach me gambling doesn’t pay with cribbage but I have always been lucky. But I did learn moderation- We played cribbage for a penny a point!
• The yard is meant to be played in. We had weekly football games, basketball hoops, and a waffle ball golf course. There was always time to throw a football.
• Follow what you know is right and oppose those you know are wrong.
• Complement people- You can always find a way to help pick up someone’s mood or day with a kind word.
•   How to fish- From the youngest time I can remember catching everything from yellow perch to yellow tail tuna!
• Don’t ask something of someone you would not be willing to do yourself.
• School is the most important part of a child’s preparation for the future.
• I would like to say I learned modesty from him, but that has never been my forte.
• How to row a boat. Of course this was when he dove out of the rowboat when I was 4 and expected me to get to shore.
• Democracy of the family- We all had a vote but He and mom always had more votes.
• Relax and enjoy life- He retired after 30 years in the navy at the age of 49 and after that he traveled, worked in the yard, golfed and enjoyed life.
• When playing sports with kids take the weakest team member and do all you can to make them have fun. Even if it involves moving screens to clear the way to the basket!
• All the lessons from Errol Flynn movies about right and noble actions.
• Written letters at important times are remembered by your kids.
• Don’t make excuses.-If there is a problem fix the problem!
• If you make a mistake, apologize but when you really screw up you have to work very hard to make things right.
• To say “Yes sir”, and “Yes Ma’am”  
• How to drive a clutch as well as how to drive. Starting from an empty church parking lot.
• That quitting a habit is a matter of deciding to quit and doing it. He went from non-filtered Pall Mall cigarettes to nothing by deciding to do it!
• How to treat a lady and that all women deserved to be treated that way.
• Do not tolerate idiots or the incompetent.
• Education gives you choices.
• The true meaning of “Quality of Life”!

I’m sure I left many things out from my 54 years of memory but it was time to put these lessons into words. So to whomever reads this column-Hope it helps you be a better and stronger person. Thanks Dad!